Do you remember that song? "Somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight. Somewhere out there if love can see us through, we'll find one another. Somewhere out there, out where dreams come true." We sang it in HS choir.
Yesterday I had a few moments where I felt sorry for myself and our family- we didn't get to celebrate with Hannah. That's what I really wanted when we first found her- have her by her birthday. (Course, that was when we thought 06-05 meant June 5th, not May 6th and when I was thinking about paying for a plane ticket for her!!!) We all sang to her in the morning, on Samuel's suggestion ate pizza because it was a special occassion, sang agan when Buddy got home, and watched more Planet Earth. (a few parts are a bit grizzly for my little girl, so we turn down the volume, fast forward and prepare ahead of time when we figure out what's about to get torn into bits.)
Really, I wanted to have my little girl in my arms and celebrate with her. Truth is, she doesn't know any differently, sad as that may be. Who am I to think that I could be the one who is the end all, be all for her and make her day? Yes, having a family would be a great present, and still will be, just not on our time frame. God is her Father and has taken care of and loved her long before I knew who she was. He sings over her, holds her in the palm of His hand, knows the plans for her future! I forgot to trust Him for a while yesterday. I was thinking about the orphans of the world and the horrible plight of the homeless children and felt so small and overwhelmed by all there is to be done. No, I can't save them all and don't have the money to give to everyone in need. But I CAN obey and start with one. I'm thankful He has preserved her and placed her in a great foster family, which is a wonderful transition. Again, it's going to be wonderful when we sit back and look at how He caused everything to fall perfectly in place.
I read something yesterday about waiting on the Lord and how our hope is in the Lord. I also heard a pastor talking about how when we are in the waiting stages in life, God is preparing us and the people or things we'll experience. If we try to rush ahead, we'd mess things up. He knows! He's got it all planned out and if we just relax, obey and continue in faith, WOW! will He make it so much better than we thought!
Catherine told me this morning that we didn't do much for fun for Hannah's birthday. I asked her what she would suggest. "Go get Hannah." In good time we will do just that! She has changed her prayer from "And God, help us to get Hannah tomorrow" to "help Hannah come home the first day of summer."
In the meantime, we'll just keep working on learning Georgian and finishing up projects that need to be done.
Religion that is pure and good before God the Father is to help children who have no parents... James 1:27 NLV
2 comments:
Oh Delahne, you're making me cry again. I went through those same feelings at Christmas time. It's hard to celebrate when somebody is missing.
So Georgian has its own language?! You learn something new every day.
Prayers that you soon have her. Can't wait til this time next year when I will see a huge Birthday celebration on your blog, with your daughter by your side.
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